Many of us learn the hard way in life today, especially due to not listening very well to those around us.  I’ve found that we narrow or filter what we want to listen to from people, tv, radio, and even what we retain when reading.  Studies show stats that say we only remember 30% of what was said, and read.  That’s a pretty low stat.

Growing up we experience firsthand what it means to not be paying attention or to only recall certain aspects of a conversation or what we watched and read.  As children, we hear, “Clean your room, Do your chores, Have your homework done by 7pm, or be home on time.”  But we can easily remember coming home late, not doing our chores, or always having our room a mess.  Have you ever thought about why that is.  Let me propose a reason.

Our listening skills are as good as we subconsciously give credit and attention to them.  For example, as a child we learn that we can chose what we listen to and do each day, but with that there are consequences with our decisions.  When talked to or told what to do, we selectively remember what we want.  So for the child, in their mind they do hear what was said, but they don’t remember it due to their attention being on other things, activities that are more fun or inside their box of attention.

The same principle applies to us as adults.  Even though we won’t admit it our listening skills are very similar to those of a child.  We still are selective on what we listen to, but it’s even worse to what we retain or care to respond too.  As adults we aren’t disciplined or watched over as stringently as we were as children.  So our attention to consequences for our decision is lessened, which leads to less interest in paying attention to those communicating to us.

Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying all adults are poor listeners, but generally speaking, we do listen and respond more selectively than we did as children.  Plus we are more hesitant to share our feelings and thoughts on the things that impact us daily.

It’s the individuals how eagerly aim to be a good listener who end up being more successful and happy in life.  There isn’t much data to support that statement beyond my own personal experience.  And most of those who do have good listening skills are the ones who have learned that hard way that not having them can lead to a less fulfilled lifestyle.

So one thought to close, is to sit back for a second and listen to everything around you.  What do you hear?  What do you feel?  What do you taste and smell in the air?  Doing these types of activities can be very rewarding.

To Your Success!